like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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