I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
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Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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