Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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