If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
