i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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