I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
