Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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