We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
