he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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