She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
