Are we in a gay sports bar?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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