U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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