My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
