remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Dear god my vagina.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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