her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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