We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
