Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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