Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
