The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
