All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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