Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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