Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
