Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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