You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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