Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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