found the other keg... it's in the tree
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
