So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
