I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize
