how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
