After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
