so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
my shit smells like andre
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
