did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
