Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
