Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize