if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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