I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
