i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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