I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
