he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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