dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
