My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
