She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
