at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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