I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
