Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
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