you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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