I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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