I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize