hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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