hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
