I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
