Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
