your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
