never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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