I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
