Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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