I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have feelings that need drinking.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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