epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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