Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
