Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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