The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
