Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?