ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
