i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
